two pals in my class cried today...one is severely stressed..as for the other one, i'm not so sure really...i think it's an accumulation of stresses from all corners...from what i've heard she feels that our class has changed, we have changed, and our bond has frayed...sigh... the sun seems grey today......maybe it's getting old...
i'm rather apologetic as i can't help, i can't console them and i think they don't really need me to do that for them...they always had others, always looked for others.......so long as they're fine in the end......
I admit...unlike most girls in our class, i'm much more...unfeeling...perhaps this is part of my personality, perhaps this is a result of habitual emotional battles back in NYNP... i don't like to cry, few things bring tears to my eyes, and sometimes i try to understand what brings tears to others' eyes..but often it has little effect on me. am i stoned inside?......the most recent event that rock-ed tears over the edge was huangcheng..but it was only for a split moment...the salty droplets rolled, and evaporated.....
I don't expect much from the friendships in our class yet..at least on the surface i don't...my better friendships were built on a foundation of at least 4 years, 6 years, even 8 years...and those years weren't empty years...they were filled to the brim with sorrow, excitement, rage, joy, satisfaction, cold-wars, armed combats, jubilance -- the list goes on.... these are often the people whom i expect something from...something more than what i expect from you guys......i don't dare to ask for much in return from friends who entered my life only 3 months ago.............
Please don't mistake me for being anti-social or cold-blooded...i'm not =/...it's just that i'm slow-paced in this aspect and for me to regard anyone more than simply a friend-friend, we all need more of something......time, memories, ups-and-downs.....then will my tears be at your beck and call......
05A12 has been a great class so far...if we actually compare ourselves with many other classes, we would count ourselves lucky to be part of this community... 3 months of fun have driven past..in retrospect, you guys did left a deep impression on me... now that the honeymoon is over, what awaits us is not only the workload, but also further discovery of the goods and bads in everyone, and the learning of accepting the ugly truth.
to those who cried today, all i can do is wish for a brighter day tomorrow. =)
